Carrie Underwood kind of mad...
Fine Art Friday #21
FINE ART FRIDAY
I was PISSED. Like kick down the door, yell my head off, throw a plate kind of mad. Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift kind of mad.
Why was I so mad?
It’s a long story, and if you don’t end up seething for me, I haven’t done my job to explain just how mad I was…
Buckle in, friend.
A preview because obviously, we did in fact get engaged and have been happily married for 11 years. Cue the old school IG filters and all…
THE NIGHT BEFORE
I arrive home with my groceries on a Friday night, ready to make my dinner at my house and what do I find? One of my roommates started the self-cleaner on the oven.
Not usually a huge deal, but a big deal when I was about to make my meal that was going to be my dinner.
LIGHTBULB…
My sweet boyfriend has a house not far from mine, I haven’t even unloaded my groceries — I’ll just pack it all up and surprise him and SURPRISE — make dinner for him too! He will be thrilled.
I get in my car and mosey over to my boyfriend’s house, not calling before because WHY SHOULD I?!
I pull up and he runs outside…
He is nervously looking side to side unsure what to do.
He shrugs.
“You can’t come in.”
I laugh, which upon seeing his face changes to a grimace.
Consequently, so does mine.
Hubba, what?!
A note here that >>>I don’t get upset. I really don’t. I can let things roll off and “play it cool and dig all jive” (it’s from a poem my dad had me memorize as a kid). It’s just not my way. Never has been…
We could argue suppressed emotions or whatever now that I’m digging deep into mental health, inner child, and all kinds of things with TBM, but overall, I just simply don’t get worked up about many things.
Yeah, so back to that unfortunate event.
I said, “Wait, what?”
Well okay, I thought. That’s weird and very unlike him. But okay — I’m sure I had some choice words to say that might not be newsletter appropriate because, this is real life isn’t it?!
“Yeah, you can’t see inside.”
Weird, but okay? I guess?
So I say, “Okay, well I’ll just run through Taco Bueno for dinner (I am a first year teacher living on a meager teacher salary after all, and I have no extra money since I just spent it on groceries that I couldn’t make dinner with. Ah the irony).
Would you like to have coffee in the morning before I head to my TFA training?”
(at this time ten years ago I was teaching with Teach For America and had training and planning meetings all day Saturday, but I could always make time for coffee with my favorite person.)
“No, I’m having coffee with my mom.”
Okay — you’re having coffee.
With your mom.
On a Saturday morning.
Yup, they have a great relationship, but Saturday morning coffee?
It was just a little unusual, and I was definitely confused.
He kisses me — “I’ll see you tomorrow for our date night!”
He left me standing there in his driveway with my bag of groceries, and I was left with an overwhelming feeling of confusion and frustration. Little did I know, he was planning a surprise proposal for the next day.
But as I’m writing this (and honey as you’re reading this) what the heck was he thinking?!
I woke up and went into my whole next day thinking this date was going to be one of two things:
A Break-Up
A Marriage Proposal
And after my experience that night, I had no idea which one I was walking into!
But wait… THERE’S MORE!
As I’m sitting on my bed ready for our date night, ready for my boyfriend to come pick me up, he calls me.
“My car is broken down! It won’t start! Can you come over here?”
In my typical let it go like Elsa style brain I was like DUDE YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.
I’m big on chivalry. Opening doors (which he has ALWAYS done and still does), him doing the driving (part of which is I hate driving at night and always have), and things like that.
This? So out of character.
But his car is broken down, unfortunately. I can't fault him for that, can I?
So I grab my keys, lock up the house, and send up a little prayer that I don’t deck him when I get to his house. (I’m kidding, obviously, mostly.)
So imagine my feelings by the time I get to his house — I’m seething.
I don’t even look, I just get out of the car and slam the door ready for an all out smash down drag out.
But what am I met with when I look look up and I'm about to slam that car door shut?
My boyfriend, standing at the open door, waiting for me with a huge bouquet of flowers.
He’s smiling with a giddy sort of smile, and it’s just enough to kick the anger out of me.
And I knew — this wasn’t a breakup I was walking into.
It was a proposal!
I walk into his house, and it’s covered in flowers and candles. Tons and tons and tons of candles. Like, think Michael Scott’s proposal to Holly in The Office. Which coincidentally is my boyfriend’s favorite tv show.
The table is set beautifully, and the house smells amazing. Oh my gosh the smells.
I’m pretty sure he worked on cooking this meal all day because it was NOT a simple pasta with spaghetti sauce out of the jar or hot dogs.
We’re talking steak, and Parmesan crusted eggplant and tomatoes, a gorgeous salad, (and honestly, more that I can’t even remember because when I think back, I remember the being mad, the candles and the amazing dinner and the proposal).
I stood there and my jaw hit the floor.
He held out my chair, and I sat, still too stunned to speak.
And then, we went through all of dinner and I thought, maybe I’m wrong? Maybe he’s not actually proposing?
He excuses himself to get desert, and I'm confused as heck at this point because I really thought I'd have been asked a certain question and would be getting a ring by now…
and when I look up again, he’s next to me, on one knee, with the most beautiful ring I could ever imagine. It’s not about the ring, of course, but it was a nice touch (well done, honey!).
I said yes, we called our families (FaceTime was new and not super reliable at this time in 2012) and then we jump in the car to go to The Polo Grill for desert and drinks to celebrate.
And I break down in tears.
Gosh, poor guy I must’ve scared him to death. Can we own that this whole experience has been a freaking whirlwind of emotions in this short 36 hour period?!
As he worriedly, tentatively, asks me, the girl who he's just proposed to, who he's just asked to spend the rest of his life with, what’s wrong…
I say that my family didn’t even care that I was engaged! What the heck!?
We’re planning to drive to OKC to see my family, so he says that’s probably when they’ll show their excitement.
I say okay, you’re probably right.
We get in the car to go to have a celebratory drink, and I'm still a little teary. Why on earth didn't they act excited?
We walk into the restaurant, and the host ushers us through a doorway where I am stunned.
My parents are there! His parents are there! His grandparents! His brothers!
And behind everyone I see my sister, who must’ve flown into Tulsa from Washington DC to surprise me.
Holy crap.
THAT is when I burst into tears.
Again.
Ya'll – so many tears were shed in this experience.
My twin sister and I were close (twins are as you might guess), but never were closer than when we were both first year teachers with Teach for America across the country from each other trying to figure out what we were doing with only 6 weeks of prior training —
we would talk on the phone to each other every morning on the way to school and everyday on the way home. And to this day, we still talk multiple times a day, now through FaceTime, which is much more fun.
It was a great night. A roller coaster of emotions for sure, but I’m so glad I said yes and 12 years later, I’d still say yes every time!
I do feel like I need to explain why he wouldn’t let me come in like he was a little piggy, and I was the wolf.
That day, his mom had come by his house to help him get the house ready because like many recent college graduates, he worked all day and also didn't know a thing about decorating his house to be pretty for this exciting event, and let's be honest, he needed some help.
He and his mom had decorated everything – EVERYTHING – and if I came in, it would ruin the surprise. This guy and his surprises – it's his favorite thing (remember the story from our date night).
He got the ring in May, asked my dad in June (unbeknownst to me when he went and retrieved my beloved dog Eddy to live with him from my parents house while I was at TFA teacher training.) He had already moved the proposal up from Christmas, to Thanksgiving, to September because he JUST COULDN’T WAIT. I just love him. 😊
And he knew if we went to coffee Saturday morning, he would blurt it out and then the whole surprise would be ruined also.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
HOW I WOULD PLAN MY WEDDING AGAIN FROM SCRATCH PART II
HIRE A PLANNER
STICK TO MY VISION
TRUST THE EXPERTS
THEN STICK TO YOUR PRIORITIES.
So, it was a whole unexpected thing — a whirlwind.
This unexpected event was just the beginning of many surprises and emotional rollercoasters that happen when you’re the CEO of your wedding day.
Looking back on my own proposal makes me realize the importance of understanding and communicating what I want for my wedding day. I want a warm and intimate atmosphere, surrounded by my loved ones. I want the aesthetic to be classic and elegant, and my top priority is ensuring everyone feels welcome and cherished.
As I look back on my own engagement, it inspires me to envision the exact atmosphere I want for my wedding day. It’s crucial to be clear about the desired mood, aesthetic, and priorities for the day.
I’m taking time to brainstorm and document key elements that align with my values and aspirations. These elements will serve as the foundation for every decision made throughout the planning process.
In the rest of this post, I will continue on sharing the next steps of my pretend wedding planning journey, diving deeper into the process of working harmoniously with our chosen wedding planner, staying true to our authentic vision amidst constantly changing trends, and building a collaborative relationship with vendors to create a unique, memorable celebration.
You can read the whole post here.
OH MY GOODNESS it feels a little cathartic to get that story out into the world, but also a little scary. I'm glad you're here to share it with.
And if you have a quick second, I'm working to get some amazing ideas on Pinterest – would you mind clicking here and hitting follow?! It would mean the world to me!
xoxo
xo, courtney
PS – Do you have a great engagement story?! Hit reply and tell me all about it. I read and respond to every email.
DOG-EARED BY COURTNEY KIBBY
GET MOM WHAT SHE REALLY WANTS…
WOULD YOU TAKE A QUICK MINUTE AND CLICK FOLLOW? IT WOULD MEAN THE WORLD TO ME!
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